I've been suffering with sleeping habits again. I posted about it a while back on my dementia blog.

I sleep...

Now, I know everyone sleeps, but I can knock out between 10-16 hours a day in deep slumber. Unbelieveable, yes. Even with all the rest my main goal through the day is to get back to bed.

 I never feel rested.

I was in therapy a couple years back. I went on medication.

My therapist and my primary physician were in agreement that I sleep for escape reasons.

Seems a bit harmless to me.

Some people shop, drink, or eat to deal with anxiety or life issues.

Sleeping really doesn't cost anything,

I won't have a hangover or gain weight.

 

The medication I went on was not only to help me with my anxiety but to help with the OCD I suffer from.

Just imagine this....

I'd leave the house for work daily, get half way to my job and turn around.

I'd drive by to see if the garage door was closed, sometimes go in and check if the curling iron was still on...

I'd leave again, get a few blocks, turn around and drive by the house again... garage door, stove, curling iron...it really is a horrible thing.

Even though you KNOW these things are in check, you can't stop yourself from checking over and over again.

You feel insane.

I quit going to therapy a while back, I took myself off the medication and had severe withdrawl symptoms for 3 weeks.

The medication helped, I will admit, but to be honest I would not refill the perscription in time causing me even more anxiety.

So, I sleep, and I obsess.

It's me.

~NURSEY~

It's 3:00 a.m.

I'm sitting here with my thoughts.

I'm thinking of Hook.

I heard this song this evening on my sister's myspace page. It nearly brought me to tears.

Our relationship has always been this way. Hook on the road, me here.

Both exsistences very lonely.

He's still not well.

He leaves exhausted and struggles through his week.

Even with his first miles of driving he calls and tells me.....

"I'm on my way home."

~Nursey~